Family Shit + True Blood

[sulwen]

So my grandpa is dying. He's had cancer for a while. The last time I saw him was last Christmas. His birthday is coming up and we're having a family get together on Saturday that of course I'm supposed to go to.

Here's the thing. I don't like the man. Don't love the man. Never have. He's a raging alcoholic who made my dad's childhood miserable. He's never done a thing for me or my family. I don't think he's really a bad person at heart, but still. Don't like him. And I REALLY don't want to have to be around all that sickness and nastiness. I would so much rather just hear secondhand, oh yeah, Grandpa died last week. Simple. Easy. Distant.

But I fucking have to go, and it sucks. A lot. I'm going to dread it all week, hate being there, and feel awful afterward. Ugh.

Am I a terrible, terrible person for feeling this way? I kind of think I am, but I also kind of don't care.



True Blood! Tonight's episode had way too much vomiting (ick!), but other than that it was pretty good. Sam's secret is finally - finally! - out, so that's progress. And I loved watching Bill at the tribunal. I seriously want to read some Bill/Eric. And I loved watching him with the girl - trying to be kind to her at first, then kind of getting swept away as it went on...that was awesome. Can't wait until next week!

Comments

[chez-amanda.livejournal.com]

You are not a terrible person, there's no rule that says you have to love family members no matter what. However, just go to support your other family members and see it as that. It might (I'm stressing the might) make it a little easier.

Also? It's almost a month til I come home, you better be happy about that! ;) Love youuuuuuuu!!!!!